


An Idiot's Guide to Vampirism

by CrimeOfTheCentury



Category: Blue Oyster Cult, Todd Rundgren (Musician), Utopia (Band)
Genre: 80s, Biker Gangs, M/M, Vampires
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-14
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2020-01-13 01:01:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18458237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrimeOfTheCentury/pseuds/CrimeOfTheCentury
Summary: A semi-serious semi-silly AU set in 1987 in which Kasim and Todd are roommates also Kasim is a vampire. Shenanigans ensue.





	1. In Which Kasim Becomes A Vampire

**Author's Note:**

> For a better, more authentic experience, please note that Kasim has a thick New York accent. Thank you.

“Hey Todd, I'm heading out,” Kasim slung his black leather jacket over his shoulder. “See ya tomorrow, you know, if I get lucky, heheh.”

“Okay, be careful, remember what I told you about vampires,” Todd did not look up from his work, tinkering with a video camera on the kitchen table. 

“Haha okay, whatever,” Kasim laughed and headed out, the old door slamming itself shut behind him.

Kasim eagerly walked down their old apartment's stairs and out the front door without a care in the world. The orange light of the sunset cast a long shadow behind him onto the old brick siding of their city dwelling. A few cars passed him by, heading in the other direction. The walk to the bar was short, it was only a few blocks from where he lived. “Kraftbeer and Barwerk”, the blinking neon sign said. “Free soft drinks to your designated driver!” it said below.

Kasim sauntered up to the bar and took a seat. “The usual?” The bartender asked.

“Of course,” Kasim smiled.

“May I have this seat, handsome?” 

Kasim heard a low, sultry, voice in his ear and turned to face them. She was pale, with long ebony black hair with purple streaks in a feathery mullet, a low cut dress in black, and long black nails. She smelled strongly of licorice and cloves, an intoxicating scent that almost knocked him off his feet. Something in her intense stare felt wrong, like he was a piece of prey trapped under her gaze. His rarely heard from better judgement warned don't do it, don't be a fool Kasim don't fall for her! That was quickly silenced by a very horny submissive streak. “Of course, darling.”

She had a certain charm that seemed to draw Kasim in further. They had a few drinks together and chatted a little. She asked Kasim if they wanted to go somewhere quieter. Of course, he said. She lead him to the bathrooms, a dirty place, but private and quiet enough. The warning sirens were playing in Kasim's head, but he wanted some fuck.

There was no one else there. Though Kasim was a bit apprehensive to the setting, he nevertheless followed her lead. They quickly filed into an empty stall and locked the door. 

Kasim's hands wandered around her body and chest while they kissed heavily. She pushed herself against him, undoing his belt and pulling down his pants. He sat down and she began to ride him, the both of them kissing and feeling each other up.

“God, you are so cute, I could eat you up,” She moaned into his ear. Kasim chuckled.

“You know with moves like that I wouldn't mind at all,” he said. She kissed him all around his jawline, and down his neck. Kasim moaned. “You could do whatever you want to me and I'd probably love it…”

Suddenly, Kasim felt a sharp pain at his nape! He yelped in surprise and in pain, but the sharp burning sensation quickly turned into a wave of pleasure. Kasim wasn’t really sure what was happening until he noticed blood dripping down from his neck. Suddenly, Todd's words echoed in his head. “There's a time and place for everything… but not now!” No, not those words. “Watch out for strangers, especially vampires,” ah yes that is what he said.

“Hey, uh, are you a vampire?” Kasim asked uncertainly to the lady who was still clamped to his neck and on his dick. 

“You just realized that? Wow.” She threw her head back, blood dripping from her impressively sharp canines, her now glowing eyes piercing into Kasim's soul. “I knew I got an easy catch, but I didn't realize how dumb you were too!”

“Hey! I'm not dumb. I'm just horny,” Kasim spat back. 

“And you'll be dead from blood loss in a few minutes. Thanx for being such an easy meal, dumbass.” She smiled. 

At this point, she had already released herself from Kasim's dick and was fully engrossed in her meal. Kasim tried to push her off, but he was quickly getting weak from his loss of blood and his vision was getting faint. Well shit. Was this really the end?

* * *

Todd, bored of working on his camera project, got up from his workstation and wandered aimlessly around their small apartment, two bedroom one bathroom a pain in the ass to share with another person sorta deal but it makes it easier to pay the rent. He then spotted a wallet on the table - Kasim's wallet. It must have slipped out of his pants when he was getting ready. Better go return it to him before he tries to go home with someone and can't pay the bill. Todd quickly got dressed and ran out the door, wallet in hand.

At the bar, Todd took a glance over at the patrons for his roommate/friend, but to no avail. Todd got feeling down his spine something wasn't quite right. Where could he be? He asked the bartender if he saw a handsome young man with a leather jacket and mullet-- this doesn't really narrow things down this is 1987 but it's worth a shot-- and to his surprise, he had! He went in the direction of the bathrooms with a goth chick, he said. That sounded suspicious, and it didn't help Todd's growing anxiety about the situation. He ran to the bathrooms.

“I can't believe this is the third guy I had to tell tonight that his boyfriend is messing around with goth chicks behind his back! Can you believe that, Flor?” The bartender turned to his boyfriend making the drinks. 

“Man, sucks to be them. Glad I know you're not the type to do that, Ralf.” 

“Of course not.”

* * *

Todd practically knocked down the bathroom door when he barged in, scaring a few guys at the urinals who complained he made them squirt all over their pants or something Todd didn't care. He caught a glance of a small pool of blood forming under one of the stalls, his worst suspicions confirmed.

Todd quickly entered the next stall and climbed on top of the divider separating the two and saw the gruesome scene. His roommate/friend Kasim was being held limp over the toilet as blood seeped from his neck, pants down dick out. A very pale and goth looking chick covered in blood was poised above him, slurping loudly as she consumed his blood. 

“You motherfucking vampire!” Todd fumed, procuring a switchblade from his pants and pointed at the woman. “Release him now!” 

“Huh what? What the fuck?” She whipped around to look at the strange man who was perched like a goblin on top of the dividers. “Is that a knife? What do you expect to do to a vampire with a wimpy ass knife like that?” She scoffed and put her middle finger up at him.

“Look again,” Todd angled the knife so that she might see her own reflection -- if she were mortal. 

“Oh whoopty-do, you got a silver knife--” Todd extended his lanky arm, positioning the knife at her heart. “Okay fine I get it, but what do you think you're gonna do? Save him? He's already passed out from blood loss, he's a goner.”

“You know what you can do to save him,” Todd glared back at her, gesturing to his friend's body.

“And what if I don't?” 

“You won't get out of here alive. Or undead, for that matter.” 

“And if I do?”

“I'll let you go free, but only tonight.” 

She mulled over her options. On one hand, she could probably beat this wimpy looking man in a fight, but his confidence and silver knife made her doubt it. On the other hand, she still comes out with a meal to last maybe a few weeks and she gets off mostly scott free, except maybe her ego. The choice was clear.

Todd watched as the vampire lady bit into her wrist, drawing her own undead blood to the surface. She opened Kasim's jaw and let her blood drip into his mouth. She rubbed his throat to make him swallow, this wouldn't work in real life but it works in fiction and it works now so what the hell? And with that, her good deed of the year was done. 

“I did it, are you happy now?” She grimaced as she got off Kasim, pulling her leggings back up. 

“Yes. Now leave.”

“Okay okay jeez, have fun with your new vampire boyfriend,” she rolled her eyes as she unlocked the stall door and strolled out the door, the two men at the urinals staring at her in shock.

“God dammit Kasim, you really fucked it up this time,” Todd grumbled as he got down from the dividers. He brought in a few wet paper towels to clean the blood off of him and pulled up his pants- for his own dignity. Todd hoisted his body over his shoulder and made the thankfully short trip back to their apartment.

* * *

Kasim awoke with a pounding headache. He didn't quite remember what happened last night or where he was. All he remembered last was finding a hot goth lady at the bar and they went to the bathroom to fool around, but his memory quickly got hazy at that point. There was blood, possibly? It hurt his head just to try and remember. 

And man, was this one hell of a hangover. He felt worse than ever before, lethargic and aching everywhere and a general sense of malaise, and he hadn't even opened his eyes yet. Begrudgingly, and with a drawn out groan, he opened an eye and found himself staring at the same crumbling stucco ceiling that was his apartment bedroom. Whatever happened last night couldn't have been that bad if he managed to get back home in one piece. He closed his eye with a sigh.

“Are you awake?” 

Kasim's eyes snapped open and recognized the general shape of his roommate Todd standing over him. He rubbed his eyes for more clarity. As his vision cleared, he noticed Todd's worried expression turn to relief. Kasim groaned.

“Oh, thank god, I wasn't sure if it would have worked.” Todd wiped his brow. 

“What are you going on about..?” Kasim unsteadily sat himself up, holding his head. 

“You were attacked by a vampire last night and you almost became vampire dinner,” Todd stated matter-of-factly. “I saved your life.”

“Uh, okay, sure,” Kasim rubbed his head in his hands and ran his fingers through his feathery hair. “Ugh, I drank way too much last night, but I don't even remember having more than two…” 

“Do you want a cup of water?” Todd handed him a small paper cup. 

“Thanks,” Kasim took a sip. “I feel terrible though. Worse than I've ever felt in my life. I just want to sleep this off, honestly.” He laid back down in his bed and almost immediately fell back asleep.

“Okay,” Todd stared at Kasim for a few moments, then retired to his room.

* * *

Kasim awoke again, but he still felt the same. He didn't know how long he had slept, but he felt restless and fought his feelings of malaise and got up. He slipped into the bathroom to clean himself up, and took a look at himself in the cracked mirror.

His eyeliner from the night before was smudged, and the humidity of the summer and the rough night's sleep sent his tousled and feathered curls into a frizzy mess. There was dried blood on his white shirt; and two strange marks on his neck. Kasim put a hand on it. 

A vampire attack? He always thought Todd was just crazy, there's no such thing as vampires, but he didn't complain as Todd was a good roommate and was able to pay rent with his job as a video editor or some sort. But the marks on his neck reminded him of the tales of vampire attacks. The memory of the night before was still hazy, but he remembered there was a bite, and a struggle, but after that it all went black. 

Kasim took a long shower, lost in his own thoughts about the night before. He wasn't sure what to make of it. Todd was uncharacteristically caring about him as well. The whole situation was beyond strange! 

He dressed himself wordlessly. He looked at his shirt from last night, at the dried blood that had now seeped into the fabric. That was his favorite shirt. His mom got it for him for his birthday last year. It might have been a plain white t-shirt to everyone else, but it was special, and now it was ruined.

Kasim, clean and proper, took a look out their window. It was late in the day, probably mid afternoon, not too late to take a walk and clear your mind.

He took a passing glance into Todd's room, a mess of cables and wires and occult imagery and a mirror or two. Todd was in the kitchen again, taking apart another gadget for fun. “I'm just going out for a walk,” Kasim said unenthusiastically. 

“Haven't you learned your lesson?” Todd glared at him.

“Just a walk, okay? I need to think about some things,” Kasim shook his head and left out the door.

“After all I did for him.” Todd muttered. He looked out the window to watch him leave, when he realized something very important.

“Oh. Oh fuck. The sun!” Todd gasped. Then he pondered for a moment. “Eh, I'll let him figure it out on his own.”

* * *

The second Kasim set foot out the door, the sun felt more powerful than ever. It felt like burning on his eyes whenever he glanced in its general direction. Kasim shielded his eyes from the sun and shook his head. “Ugh. I shoulda checked the temperature before I left.” 

He hid himself from the rays of the sun behind a tree, and took out a cigarette and lit it. Now away from direct sunlight, Kasim already felt a lot better, and chalked it up to late summer weather. After a nice smoke, Kasim went back inside. 

“Geez, it's burning hot outside today. I felt like I was burning up the second I stepped outside!” He complained when he came back inside. Todd just shrugged his shoulders.

“Whatever. I’m gonna make myself some lunch from yesterday’s leftovers.” Kasim walked past Todd to the fridge, and grabbed a styrofoam takeout box of Italian pasta. He nuked it in the microwave for a minute or so, grabbed a fork, and began to chow down.

“Shit!” He exclaimed. Sweat began to pour from his skin. Glancing left and right nervously, he spotted a glass on the counter. He snatched it and stuck it under the kitchen sink, hastily turning the water on, splashing it on his clothes, and downing it in one gulp. He then relaxed, wiping sweat from his brow.

“I don’t remember my italian food being so spicy.” Kasim turned the faucet off. “Or maybe I accidentally grabbed your food? I don’t know. I’ll just eat some ice cream to cool off,” Kasim went back to the fridge and grabbed an ice pop from the freezer. “Much better.”

* * *

When it came time for bed, Kasim went to the bathroom to wash up, but noticed a large book on the side of the sink. “Huh, Todd left one of his books on the supernatural out. Musta been toilet reading.” Kasim ignored the book, and applied toothpaste to his toothbrush. Man, he thought to himself, as he touched the tip of one of his canines. They were sharp, sharper than he had remembered. Probably chipped in a bar fight against a vampire that he didn’t remember. Probably lost. He shook his head and rinsed his mouth with water. 

Once finished with his teeth, he returned to his room and changed into a comfy pair of boxer shorts and flopped onto bed. He pondered the events of the day and the night before, but before long, he felt the pulls of exhaustion and fell asleep.

* * *

The next day, Kasim returned to the bathroom for his morning routine. A sticky note was attached to the mirror, right in the middle. Kasim nonchalantly tore it off, not even bothering to read it. He applied shaving cream to his face, and proceeded with a razor to shave off any new stubble that grew overnight.

“Ouch!” Kasim nicked himself with the sharp blades of the razor. He looked at himself in the mirror. Though the cut looked deep, it did not bleed at all. Kasim shrugged it off and continued to shave. 

After his morning shower, Kasim went back to the mirror to fix his hair and apply his 80’s eyeliner. Search as he might, he could not find his tube of eyeliner. Todd must have used it up already and threw it out, he thought. So he decided to steal some from Todd’s room.

Todd's room was a mess of cables, bits and pieces of technology, including an Apple II hooked up to a state of the art CRT TV and modem. Among his personal treasures were musty old books of the occult and supernatural which filled an entire bookshelf, and various silver tools (no gun, Todd was against guns) and a wooden stake. Kasim shook his head at the mess and proceeded to rummage through his makeup, grabbing a stick of eyeliner for his own usage. This was the 80s, after all. 

Satisfied with his meager loot, Kasim turned to walk away, when he noticed something in the large mirror Todd left leaning on a wall. He took a closer look, and saw something bewildering. It was if he wasn’t even there- though his clothes still appeared, where his face should have been was just a reflection of what was behind him. He passed his hand in front of his face. He could still see himself, but not in the mirror.

All the dots connected in his head. Astonished by this sudden revelation, Kasim ran out yelling.

“I'M A VAMPIRE? I'M A VAMPIRE?” Kasim flailed his arms at Todd, who was again sitting at the kitchen table, tinkering with more gadgets.

“Shh, its late, you'll wake the neighbors!” Todd put a finger to his lips. 

Kasim lowered his voice. “I’m a vampire?” He sounded dejected.

“It took you that long to notice?” 

Kasim paused for a moment. “...Maybe… But how? And why?”

“When I saved your life that night-- after I told you to watch for vampires, mind you, I found you out cold, inches away from death. The only way I could have saved you was to force the vampire that attacked you to turn you.” Todd explained. “Had I gotten there a minute too late, you would have been dead for sure, and the only reason I even found you was because you left your wallet at home.”

Kasim sat down at the table, head in hands, eyes wide open, thinking. After a few minutes, he spoke up. “You know what this means?”

“What, what does it mean, Kasim.”

“I can’t go outside and greet the sunrise. I can’t have Italian anymore. I can’t go to my niece’s wedding at the church.” 

“Well, actually, vampirism has nothing to do with the Catholic church.” Todd pointed a screwdriver at him.

“I can’t eat real food. I have to go steal somebody’s blood. Do you know what that is Todd? THAT’S MURDER.”

Wordlessly, Todd got up from the table and faced the door. “Kasim.”

“What?”

Todd gestured to Kasim to come. Kasim got up and followed him to his bedroom, badgering him with questions.

“Todd what am I gonna do? Wait, can I fly? Am I a Dracula? Do I get really hot?”

“Sit down,” Todd gestured to his bed. Kasim obediently sat down. He took another look at himself in the mirror. Nope, still invisible. 

“How bad is it?” 

“Well, you got vampirism.”

“Oh no." Kasim shifted on the edge of the mattress trying to make himself comfortable, well, as comfortable as was possible given his situation. There was never anything encouraging about being handed your diagnosis, the more you looked into it the more the news sunk into the pit of your gut as it hit home. In other words, not super jazzed about the whole ordeal.

Todd immediately gravitated to his bookshelf of occult knowledge and vampire lore. Searching the spines, he mumbled to himself. “No, too wordy. Eh, let’s look for something a little more recent. Hm… ah, here!” Todd grabbed a old tattered pamphlet from between two thick and gothic looking books. “Read this.” He blew off the dust, and handed it to Kasim.

“So… You’re a Vampire, a Guide for the Newly Turned by Lucia von Keyserling,” Kasim read aloud. 

Todd pat his back in a stilted attempt at sympathy. “If you have any questions feel free to ask. Do you want me to leave as you look it over?” 

“Yes please.”

Todd nodded and left the room, closing the door with a loud creek. Kasim took a long hard look at the cover of the pamphlet - though the happy cartoon vampires depicted lounging and drinking wine were cute, they did little to alleviate his concerns. He read it apprehensively, thinking of the implications of drinking blood and his newfound strengths and weaknesses.

At least he now knew he wouldn’t die from it. He technically was already dead, anyway. He wouldn’t re-die from it. Or would he? He quickly flipped it open to make sure. Nope, he can’t be killed unless by a silver weapon or wooden stake. Kasim looked around Todd’s room. Silver weapons, a wooden stake, vampire hunting weapons. Would he? No. He’s a good roommate, and he did this to save his life. But would he?

“May I come in?” Todd peered through a crack in the door.

“Sure,” Kasim replied.

“Any questions?”

“Can I still eat food?”

“I mean, you can, but it won’t be much of a point to it. Most older vampires cease to see the point and don’t eat at all, but you can if you want.” Todd shrugged.

“Okay.” Kasim looked at the silver weaponry on the table. Just staring at them he felt fear creeping up his spine. “Todd… do you kill vampires?”

Todd was caught off-guard, though he should have expected it, leaving his vampire hunting gear out in the open. “Well. Uh. Only the bad ones.”

“What are the bad ones?”

“The ones that have lost their humanity and kill humans for pleasure.” Todd fidgeted with the hem of his shirt. “But you shouldn’t worry about that. You’re safe with me.”

“Oh.” Kasim let out a sigh of relief, though he wasn’t entirely convinced. This past few days were a whirlwind of new experiences for him and his newfound vampirism turned his life upside down. His roommate, his closest friend at this point, turned him into a vampire, but he also hunted them, and he didn’t know what to think. He stared at the carpet, covered in wires. Todd, with all his antisocial quirks, noticed the uneasy feeling, and changed the subject.

“You want to get some Chinese?” He offered, grabbing a menu from his dresser.

“Oh yeah, definitely.” Kasim perked up, his sharp canines prominent in his toothy grin.


	2. Sunscreen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kasim gets bored when Todd's not around.

It was a normal day in the Rundgren apartment, (Todd's name was on the lease) (The chairs were Kasim's though) well, except for a few things. First of all, Kasim was now a vampire. Second of all, Kasim just found OUT he was a vampire. Third of all, Kasim was a vampire.

Quickly realizing how restrictive his new undead lifestyle had become, Kasim looked to figure out ways around his newfound weaknesses. Garlic wouldn't kill him, but he'd probably regret it later. Well, that's something for future Kasim to deal with. However, there was a much more pressing weakness: sunlight.

“Do you think sunscreen works?” Kasim peered his head over the thick manual Todd was reading for his new shiny VCR camcorder. Todd cocked his head and lowered the manual.

“Works for what? Protecting your skin?” Todd deadpanned. “I guess you can try,” He shrugged.

“Do we have any sunscreen?” Kasim blurted as he shuffled through various drawers and cupboards. 

“Uh, check behind the mirror in the bathroom,” Todd went back to reading the manual.

“Okay,” Kasim opened the mirror in the bathroom to find a few toiletries: Q-tips, cotton balls, hair clips, enough eyeliner to block out the sun, the usual. On the top shelf, was sunscreen. Kasim grabbed it and squirted it on his hand. Poof! Empty. God dammit Todd, he used it all last time he went to the beach. People had to shield their eyes as they were confronted with the second coming of Moby Dick. Kasim might have survived most of his life without sunscreen with his own Turkish heritage, but no amount of naturally tan skin will protect a vampire from sunlight.

“Toddddddddd. we're out of sunscreeeeeeen,” Kasim whined loudly.

“Ugh,” Todd slapped the manual down and rolled his eyes. “Go get it yourself, you can drive can't you?”

“Yeah but the SUN is out, Todd!” Kasim whined even more pathetically.

“For fucks sake-- fine,” Todd grumbled. “But next time you're going shopping for your vampire affliction.”

“Yaaaaaaaay,” Kasim unenthusiastically cheered.

\---

Kasim was bored without Todd to annoy. Though he'd probably be gone for only 10 minutes max, today was already rather uneventful and he needed some stimulus.

Watch TV? Eh. Try and mess with Todd's technology? Nah, he'd probably break something and Todd would be mad. The dishes? That's Todd's job tonight. 

...Masturbate? Hmmmmmmmmmmmm yes.

Kasim closed his eyes and leaned back in the chair while he stroked himself. This was just a quickie, no need for any deep kinky fantasies, but his mind kept returning to Todd. Not gonna lie, that guy is pretty cute and in this AU everyone is bisexual until proven otherwise. But he would never have a chance with him, honestly. Though he looked up to Todd, Todd mostly looked at him like a pest, though his compassion sometimes shined through. But still, even if they were roommates, and oh my god they were roommates, Todd was way out of his league. 

Kasim did not realize who he was thinking about when his breath hitched and hit the peak. 

“Oh god--” Kasim finished into a tissue. Panting, he shook his head in shame. “Fuckin’ Todd.”

And Todd was not back yet. Kasim wandered their small but homey apartment and into his room rather absentmindedly. The pamphlet on Vampirism 101 from the other day was still on his dresser. Kasim picked it up and unfolded it. He scanned the pages once more, and fell upon the “benefits” page.

Come to think of it, vampirism comes with a lot of perks, including super powers. Super strength, super speed, super healing, super senses, super hotness… plus flight! Maybe being a vampire isn't so bad after all. Sunlight schmunlight, he was to love the night from now on. But it was still daytime, so he couldn't run around to test out his new powers. Well, a little dabbling inside couldn't hurt, could it?

Kasim concentrated hard on flying. How can you just suddenly do a thing you've never been able to before? Maybe... maybe if he thought about floating, he could do it. Kasim felt his feet leave the ground, slowly. He felt as light as a balloon. Fuckin’ sweet! He could get the hang of this in no time.

Kasim floated around the apartment, feeling as free as the breeze. He could really get used to this, he thought. Plus, he could finally reach the top of the shelf Todd left all his “not for Kasim” snacks. Ha! 

Kasim floated in front of the cabinet in which the forbidden snacks where stored. Kasim concentrated on flying higher, and saw his perspective change as he rose. Just a little more, and he could reach it… Just one more inch… Perfect! Kasim grabbed a bag of something called wasabi peas and ripped the bag open. Smelled sharp, Kasim noted. He'd never seen this snack before, nor tried it. Kasim was about to pop some in his mouth before the inevitable happened.

BONK! Kasim hit his head on the ceiling of the kitchen and immediately lost control of his flight. He fell onto the ground like a rock, dropping the bag and letting peas fly everywhere. 

“Shit!” Kasim grumbled and tried to sit up. Then the front door opened. 

Todd appeared in the door, holding a small paper bag of groceries. (They were good for the environment, Todd said.) He looked at the sorry mess that was Kasim on the floor, the wasabi peas rolling under chairs and under the fridge. Well, guess they'll rot there, because neither of them wanted to get on the cold hard kitchen floor and aimlessly try to fish for peas like a cat who knocked their favorite toy underneath the couch. 

“Seems like you tried to get into my snacks, huh?” Todd's mouth twitched into a slight smirk, looking down at him. The afternoon light shone behind him, his stance wide and proud. Kasim looked up at him, possibly in awe, possibly in contempt, possibly… lust?

“Shut up, you hippie,” Kasim muttered, sitting up unsteadily. “All you've got is veggie shit, I wouldn't have wanted them anyway.” He hid the opened bag behind him.

“The peas on the ground tell another story,” Todd put the bag on the kitchen table and took out his loot. A few toiletries, some new eyeliner, and of course, the strongest sunscreen you can buy without a prescription. 

Kasim noticed the sunscreen as soon as Todd took it out of the bag. He immediately did an 180 and got up enthusiastically, wrapping his arms around Todd. “ Oh thank you thank you thank you SO much!!” He squeezed Todd, who grimaced in response.

“Uh, you're welcome, but you still have to pick up the peas you spilled,” Todd pried him off, though his face seemed a tinge red from the hug.

“Oh, okay,” Kasim seemed embarrassed from his sudden outburst of affection. Normally he wouldn't feel bad about this, Kasim was a very affectionate person, but accidentally jizzing to the thought of your roommate makes things awkward. Kasim slunk back and began to pick up the peas scattered across the floor.

“Here, once you're done we'll watch a movie together. I just rented Spaceballs from the local video store.” Todd snagged a bag of unpopped popcorn from the cupboard next to the sink and popped it in the microwave. “You know when to stop it. Put it in a bowl and bring it to the couch and we can get started.”

“Alright,” Kasim sighed, and did as he was told. He stopped the microwave at just the right time for popcorn and poured it into a bowl and brought it to the living room. Todd was already sitting on the couch, remote in hand. He pat the seat cushion next to him invitingly. Kasim obeyed and sat next to him, only separated by the bowl of popcorn.

The two spent the next hour and a half laughing at the parody movie's spot on jokes, sharing the popcorn between them and trying not to choke on it. Kasim was engrossed in the movie, absentmindedly shovelling the popped kernels into his mouth.

Without tearing his eyes away from the screen, Kasim reached for the popcorn bowl at the same time Todd did. He grabbed whatever was there at the time, which happened to be Todd's hand. He nonchalantly put his hand into his mouth, chomping down hard.

“OW! Fuck!” Todd yelped, and reflexibly pulled his hand away from Kasim's mouth. With Kasim's newly formed fangs, he had punctured the skin and it was already beginning to bleed. 

Kasim gasped when he realized what he had done. He had bit down hard, any harder and he could have bitten off a finger. A strangely sweet yet tangy taste whet his tongue. Kasim touched his finger to his mouth. Blood. And it didn't taste metallic, either, rather deeply satisfying, like a swig of water after a marathon run. Kasim licked his lips, savoring the taste.

“Kasim ! What the fuck? You almost bit my fingers off!” Todd clutched his bloody hand, shooting daggers at Kasim.

Kasim snapped out his trance. “Uh. Oops.” Oops was an understatement.

“Go get me some bandages, they're in the bathroom somewhere. And hurry!” Todd commanded him, pointing in the direction of the bathroom.

Kasim felt a strange sensation in his nether region from his authoritative demand. Just little bottom things, though Kasim did not realize this quite yet. Kasim nodded and rushed into the bathroom like a good little roommate.

Thankfully, there was some gauze behind the mirror, as well as bandaids. Not sure on how bad the wound was, Kasim brought both back just in case. The blood was still oozing from his bite wound, and the smell, though faint, was becoming intoxicating. Kasim shook his head to resist it, but Todd was growing impatient.

“Give it to me,” He demanded. Kasim looked back at the wound. Blood was beginning to pool up and drip off the back of his hand. The glistening crimson hue called out to him. After all, Kasim was a vampire, and it would be wrong if he didn't take this opportunity for some real food.

Kasim instead stuck Todd's fingers in his mouth. He was met with a “what the fuck” at first, but Todd's anger turned into confusion and then… acceptance? Kasim swirled his tongue around his digits, swallowing drops of blood as they came out. Though it was a trickle, Kasim lost track of what he was doing, as did Todd.

After what was much longer than anyone anticipated, Todd snapped out of it. Blushing, he pulled his hand out of Kasim's mouth for the second time. 

“... Don't do that.” Todd muttered, less confident than before. “Just give it to me, I'll bandage myself up.” Todd took the package of bandaids from Kasim and proceeded to put happy smiley bandaids all over his bite wound. 

“Oh. Shit. I'm-- I'm sorry,” Kasim stuttered, embarrassed he let his vampire urges get the best of him.

“It's alright. You vampires just go crazy around blood,” Todd shrugged, not meeting Kasim's eye contact. “I mean, I don’t go crazy when I see food but if your food normally requires you to do your own killing, free blood must be a real excitement.”

“Haha, yeah,” Kasim agreed, not openly acknowledging the othering in Todd's words. Maybe they should just go to bed. The credits of the movie already started rolling, and it was getting late. Though Kasim was to be a creature of the night, his sleep schedule still matched those of the living, and adapting to a completely opposite sleep schedule would take time. 

“You know what, I'm gonna head to bed. See ya, Todd.” Kasim got up off the couch and retired to his bedroom. Todd did not meet his eyes but wished him a good night regardless.

Collapsing head first onto his matress, Kasim thought about Todd again. When they first met, Todd didn't seem to like him at all, instead treating him as if he were a pest. But after a year of living together, he started to warm up. It also helped that Kasim learned Todd's love language, which was much less words and more actions, like how he took care of him the day after the attack.

And somewhere in the back of his mind, the fact he sucked on Todd's fingers like that unsettled him greatly. Was not pulling away from him a sign of affection, or was he just too confused to react? All these thoughts whirled in his head like a tornado of awkward realizations. Before long, he lost his train of thought and fell sound asleep.


	3. Golden Age of Leather

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kasim joins a biker gang.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kasim's (and Utopia's) history with Blue Oyster Cult is a long one. He was friends with Eric Bloom in the 70s, and inspired the song Hungry Boys. More recently, he played bass with them from 2012-2017.

 

It had been over a week since the incident that left Kasim with a case of the undeads. Tonight, Kasim stood in front of the bathroom mirror, applying the last touches to his eyeliner with a soft applique, blending it softly into his skin. He combed his hair back and applied a hefty amount of hairspray to his feathery mullet, letting his natural curls fill out the back. He wore a black leather jacket, half unzipped, which showed his tight white t-shirt from the week before. The bloodstains were now only a faint discoloration down his left collarbone. And lastly, he completed his attire with a tight pair of jeans. Kasim was ready to take on the world, or at least the local bar.

The bar he was attacked at. He felt uneasy going back there but it was probably unfounded, after all, what was the chance he'd get attacked again at the same bar?

Statistically more likely than it would be otherwise, lightning strikes not once but twice- but Kasim wasn't very good at math. He waved goodbye to Todd and walked out their door.

The sun had already mostly set behind him, the last embers of the light casting long dark shadows onto the street. He hissed reflexively as he shielded his eyes from the sun - though it had mostly disappeared under the horizon, even the suggestion of sunlight was enough to make him feel ill. He approached the bar with newfound confidence. He spotted a few motorcycles in the parking lot, the chromium plating reflecting the last remnants of daylight straight into his eyes. Eugh. Kasim ducked into the door and into the bar scene.

Kasim sat at an empty seat at the bar and ordered a scotch. Next to him sat a man who seemed oddly familiar.

“Hey, is that you Kas?” Kasim turned to look at the man, his face entirely hidden behind large sunglasses, copious amounts of facial hair, and a curly poof. Who could it be other than his old friend Evil Jeff Lynne-- I mean Eric Bloom!

“Eric! Woah! Long time no see, man!” Kasim smiled widely and embraced him in a bro-hug. “It's been way too long! How have you been, dude?” Kasim put a hefty hand on his shoulder.

“I've been good, I've been good! How have you been?” Eric laughed. “There's something way different about you since the last time we met.”

“Oh, you think so?” Kasim laughed awkwardly and scratched the back of his head. “No, it's been mostly the same. Living with my weird roommate, you know how it is.” Kasim closed his eyes and shrugged.

“Sounds pretty interesting, I'll bet,” Eric took a sip of his drink. “I've been with my gang a lot lately.”

“Oh yeah, I've heard you talk about that. What kind of gang? You never struck me as the criminal sort.” Kasim rested his head on his hand, looking into the dark abyss that was Eric's sunglasses.

“No, not that kind. It's a biker gang. We ride together, dine together, get drunk together, you know. We've been at this for quite a few years now, surprised you haven't met them yet!” Eric twirled his ignition key around his finger. “They're out back sharing a few drinks. Wanna join us?” He extended a hand to Kasim.

“Fuck yeah,” Kasim got up and accepted his handshake.

Out behind the bar were a few hooligans hanging around with some motorcycles, all in matching leather jackets. One of them had the other in a headlock, and the other was flailing and yelling uselessly. One of the others cheered them on. The last man sat on his bike, watching the chaos unfold, sipping a beer.

“Hey boys, meet my old friend Kasim!” Eric had his arm around the taller Kasim as he dragged him out of the bar to meet his friends.

“Hey Kasim!” “Yo!” “Nice to meetcha!” “LET GO OF MY HAIR” They all greeted him with enthusiasm.

“Hey,” Kasim waved back.

“These are the boys. Joe and Albert Bouchard are currently wrestling, you know how brothers are. Allen is cheering them on, and Buck is being cool and watching them.”

“Buck?”

“Shhhh that's his secret code name! Call him Buck Dharma.”

“Do… Do I need a code name?” Kasim asked.

“No, Buck is just too cool for the rest of us.”

“Are you here to join our cool biker gang?” Buck walked up to Kasim and shook his hand.

“Uh, well,” Kasim stammered.

“EXCELLENT! Welcome to Blue Öyster Cult, my friend! You certainly have a biker look to you!” Buck knocked shoulders with him. Or he tried, while on tippy toes. Kasim finally felt tall for once in his life.

“We're going down to the abandoned warehouse just a few blocks from here, want a ride?” Eric gestured to his motorcycle.

“Oh, uh, don't I need a bike?” Kasim scratched his head.

“You can just ride on the back, Buck does it all the time. Or on my shoulders. Buck also does that all the time. I think it makes him feel tall,” Eric put his foot over the motorcycle and disengaged the stand. “Just hang on tight!”

Kasim awkwardly got on the back of the bike and clutched Eric's belly with all his strength.

“You don't have to strangle me, you know, dude, have you been working out or something?” Eric brushed his hand aside. Kasim loosened up, though only a little, out of embarrassment. Eric took this as a sign to go and took off. Kasim screamed.

\---

The abandoned warehouse was certainly abandoned. Graffiti was plastered all over the concrete walls, left to fend for itself against mother nature after a mysterious incident a few years back.

Now the abandoned warehouse was a frequent hangout for teenage delinquents, goths, biker gangs, and even the local vampire support group. Of course, being such a hot spot for the city's counterculture meant that a schedule had to be maintained, lest a stray goth stumble in to find some angsty teenagers where they were going to summon Satan. Or maybe that was the plan? Either way, Kasim saw the schedule posted outside the warehouse doors. Tonight was scheduled for Blue Öyster Cult, and the day before was the Vampire Support Group (for vampires). Kasim made a mental note of that.

“Kas, c'mon in!” Eric called to him and snapped him out of his mental trance.

“Oh, sorry,” Kasim replied and walked inside the spacious warehouse. It was mostly empty, with a few pallets left to rot in the corners. Even more graffiti of various gangs, songs, and general phrases dotted the walls. “Trans Rights are Human Rights,” Kasim echoed one of the statements on the wall. “Sounds right,” he smiled. He turned around to face the other men, who surrounded Eric, pointing at his stomach.

“Woah, where did you get those rips?” Allen pointed at deep and wide gashes in his t-shirt that pulled from the center. “You didn't tell me you were ripping shirts for the aesthetic!”

“Woah now, these scratches weren't here a second ago, don't jump to conclusions,” Eric waved to calm them down.

“What if it was…” Joe thought out loud.

“It's NOT vampires, you stupid vampire fucker,” Albert pushed his brother. Joe pushed him back.

“WHAT IF IT WAS VAMPIRES?” He cried out.

“WHAT IF IT WAS ALIENS?” Eric joined in the cataphony. Then he wrestled Joe to the ground.

“Oh no,” Buck clasped his face. “Not this again!”

Kasim looked down at his hands. Pieces of cotton clung to his fingernails, which seemed much longer than the last time he checked. His face turned hot. “Oops,” he muttered. The boys turned to look at him.

“Did you do this?” Joe pointed at Eric, who was pinned underneath him.

“Don't be ridiculous, Kasim isn't a vampire,” Eric tried to push Joe off, but was unsuccessful. He furrowed his brows behind his impenetrable sunglasses. “I've known him since high school. I would know if my friend was a vampire.”

“Are you sure it wasn't just a demon possessing your friend's body?” Albert quipped in.

“Are you trying to make this worse? Cause it's hilarious,” Allen laughed.

Buck walked over to Kasim and looked him over. His eyes widened at his hands. He grabbed them and held them up. “These are the hands of a SHIRT RIPPER, guys!” He yelled.

“Kasim is a good boy! He wouldn't rip my shirt!” Eric yelled back, trying to turn the tables against Joe.

“Uh, actually,” Kasim swallowed hard. “No, your friend's right,” He tugged on his collar.

“YOU WERE POSSESSED BY DEMONS?” Eric yelled. Joe was caught off guard by this and Eric used it to gain control of the wrestling.

“No! I mean, no. I'm uh, actually a vampire.” Kasim tapped his fingers against each other, looking away. Everyone went silent.

“NOOOOOOOO WAY!!!!!!!!!” Eric broke the silence by getting off of Joe and running up to Kasim like a kid. Joe quickly got up as well and pushed Eric away.

“YOU'RE A VAMPIRE? LIKE A REAL BONAFIDE THOSE FERATU?” Joe smiled from ear to ear.

“Uh-” Kasim backed away from the enthusiastic men.

“KASIM! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE A VAMPIRE?” Eric pushed Joe out of the way. Joe retaliated and they began fighting for Kasim's attention. The other guys approached Kasim as well, making sure to leave space for the two men fighting.

“Are you a REAL Dracula?”

“Do you drink blood?”

“Can you fly?”

“Are you allergic to garlic?”

“Are you 500 years old?”

“Do you brood every night about how you can't go out in the sunlight?”

“Woah, woah, woah, guys,” Kasim backed away further, but hit his back against the wall. “I- I just, I just got turned. Like last week.”

“NO WAY!!!!! You're like a baby vampire!”

“Have you killed anyone yet?”

They all surrounded Kasim, twinkles in their eyes, except for Allen. His arms were crossed and he glared at him.

“How do we know you're a real vampire?” Allen pushed the others aside and stood in front of him. As the tallest of the band, he was the only one to match Kasim's height. He poked his chest hard. “Everybody knows vampires don't dress all goth and advertise themselves like that. You're a fakey fake.”

“I just got turned last week, it's not like you're given a pamphlet on how to be a vampire the second you turn!” Kasim chuckled awkwardly.

“And those fangs? Look at your teeth, they're messed up beyond belief. I bet I could twist off your fakey fangs right now.” Allen reached for his mouth, but Kasim turned his head away.

“You look dumb and fake.” Allen glared.

"Don't take it personally, he says that to everyone," Eric consoled him.

“You want me to prove I'm a vampire?” Kasim snapped back. “I'll show you I'm a vampire,” Kasim's glare pierced into Allen's soul, but he still was not convinced.

“You think normal people can do this?” Kasim started to rise above the men slowly, causing even Allen to crane his head up to see him.

“It's just wires!” Allen yelled at him from below. “Come back down you faker!”

“Watch this!” Kasim yelled. He didn't know what he was doing, just that his ego was bruised and he didn't like that. Kasim struggled to think of something cool and vampire-y he could do… maybe if he strained REALLY hard he would transform into a bat or something! Kasim concentrated hard on doing something cool and closed his eyes.

His hair started to bristle as a cold chill picked up in the building. The boys below stopped fighting and began holding each other in fear, though Allen still seemed unimpressed. Kasim felt his body change in some way he wasn't sure, but he felt more monstrous.

When he opened his eyes, it was like someone turned on a ghostly yellow flashlight on the men in front of him. But to the Öyster Cult Boys, this performance was impressively more terrifying. Kasim was floating at least 5 feet above the ground at this point, and a fierce wind had picked up, rustling their matching leather jackets.

And his eyes! The whites of his eyes were an unearthly yellow, glowing brightly in the dim lighting of the warehouse. His pupils were slits, looking demonic. His fangs protruded from his closed mouth, and when he opened his mouth, his already crooked teeth looked as sharp as nails. Kasim was undeniably some kind of monster.

Buck clung to Eric and whimpered, and Allen's jaw was on the floor.

“Holy shit.” Joe's eyes twinkled.

“Okay, I. I believe you,” Allen faltered. “Can you go back to normal now?”

Kasim looked back down at their terrified faces. “Uh, I actually don't know how to get down from here,” He laughed. His eyes faded back to normal, and his teeth retracted back in his mouth. The mysterious wind disappeared as well.

“What do you mean you don't know how to get back down?” Albert asked.

“I mean the last time I tried this I hit my head on the ceiling and fell down,” Kasim explained. And he was slowly floating up higher.

“Grab his feet!” Buck commanded the others. They all grabbed onto his shoes and tried to pull him down, but to no avail.

“It's not working!” Eric yelled back. The five of them slowly started to be lifted off the ground as Kasim continued to rise. “Ah! I'm afraid of heights!”

“You can't be afraid of heights! What are you gonna do when an alien kidnaps you in their tractor beam? Cry?” Joe hissed at him.

“I'll just close my eyes! Like I'm doing now! La la la la la!” Eric presumably closed his eyes behind his sunglasses.

“Make it stop!” Allen yelled to Kasim.

“Uhhhhhhh I'll try!” Kasim thought hard about not flying. Suddenly, the floaty bounciness he felt disappeared, and he fell like a rock, bringing the others down with him, screaming. Thankfully, their bodies cushioned his fall.

“Oof,” Kasim crawled off of the others onto the ground. “Sorry, I'm still getting used to this flying thing.”

“Well I think even the most skeptical skeptic would be convinced now,” Buck glared at Allen. Allen stuck his tongue back out at him.

“I thought he was just a really dedicated larper,” Allen defended himself.

“Do I look like a nerd to you?” Kasim spat back.

“He's not saying that,” Eric replied. “He's just a skeptic.”

“Whatever.” Kasim crossed his arms. “So what do you guys… do?”

“Uh, we polish our bikes and ride em sometimes,” Eric leaned over his bike. “Sometimes we go for ice cream.”

“ICE CREAM!” Everyone screamed for ice cream.

“Hey, wait, don't be insensitive. Maybe vampires can't have ice cream,” Albert pointed out.

“You think they're lactose intolerant?” Buck added.

“No I don't think vampires can eat ANYTHING but blood!” Albert pushed back.

“Wait, didn't you meet him at a bar?” Joe added. Eric nodded.

“That means vampires can drink.” Allen joined into the conversation.

“That doesn't mean that he drank. Maybe he was looking for a victim.” A creepy grin grew on Albert's face.

“I wish a vampire would suck MY blood...” Joe sighed.

“Stop being horny for vampires!” Albert put his brother in a headlock again and pulled his hair.

“AAAAA MY HAIR!” Joe flailed around.

“Guys, I can eat just fine, you know,” Kasim tried to chip in, but he was mostly ignored.

“Let's just go for ice cream,” Buck tried to be the voice of reason.

“Ok.”

\---

Kasim rode with Joe this time, who offered first. Kasim tried not to tear his shirt out of fear as well, making sure not to cling too tightly to his abdomen. Eric seemed to wear the rips with pride, puffing his chest out as he lead the gang to the only ice cream shop open past 11 PM.

The gang parked out front the small ice cream parlor as they stood in line for their orders.

“Would you eat blood ice cream?” The boys bothered Kasim with even more questions. “How do you put on makeup if you can't see yourself in the mirror?” “Has the Catholic Church tried to kill you yet?” And Joe of course, asked the last one.

“Can you turn me into a vampire?” Joe held Kasim's hand between his own, eyes glimmering with hope.

“Leave him alone Joe,” Albert turned around.

“We're having a MOMENT here,” he glared back.

“Uh, honestly, I have no idea how to turn someone else into a vampire,” Kasim shrugged.

“Don't you remember being turned yourself?” Joe asked.

“Uh, I was kinda unconscious when that happened. I don't really want to talk about it,” he brushed off Joe's hands.

“Oh, okay,” Joe sighed.

“What's your order?” The cashier took Kasim off guard.

“Oh! Uh shit. Uh, hot fudge sundae will be fine, please,” Kasim pulled himself together and ordered. Joe ordered after him and they all sat down underneath a parasol table.

“If you can fly, can you make our bike's fly?” Eric stirred his chocolate milkshake around with a straw.

“That seems dangerous,” Allen remarked, sipping a rootbeer float.

“I'm sure it'll be fine,” Eric brushed his concerns off. “It'll just be like ET, only with vampires!”

“Yeah, Kasim, you should make our bikes fly!” Joe cheered.

“Do it!” Buck pumped his fist.

“Yeah, I'm sure you can do it!” Albert put a hand on Kasim's shoulder.

Kasim looked at them oddly. He can barely control himself when floating, how could he make an entire bike float?

“Take the bike! Make it fly! TAKE THE BIKE, MAKE IT FLY!” They started to chant. Oh no, Kasim could only hold out for so long before giving into peer pressure. He broke down and accepted his fate. Kasim got up from the table confidently and faced the boys.

“Hell yeah, I'll do it,” he smirked, his fangs poking out. The biker boys cheered.

\---

Kasim's guinea pig test subject would be Buck and his bike, as Eric politely declined despite it being his idea. Kasim awkwardly joined Buck this time, who gave him a thumbs up.

“I believe in you,” Buck grinned. “That's why I'm putting my life on the line.”

“Oh thanks, that makes me feel so much more confident,” Kasim rolled his eyes.

“You'll be fiiiiine,” Buck hand waved his uncertainties away.

“...Okay, start driving.” Kasim put his head down and concentrated. They were situated on a long strip of road heading out from the city, practically deserted at this time of night. The night was clear and the moon was full. It's the perfect time to fly.

Buck revved the engine and lurched the bike forward, which surprised Kasim and he clung tighter to him. He started to accelerate, leaving the other others behind in his dust.

“Okay, here goes,” Kasim closed his eyes and started to concentrate on not only making himself float, but also taking the entire bike with him. Buck felt the resistance of the road slowly start to fade away as the motorcycle lifted from the ground.

“It's working! It's working!” He yelled to Kasim, who was busy fighting the wind that kept slapping his bangs against his face. “Keep going!”

Kasim channeled all his energy into this momentous occasion. The bike rose higher and higher above the ground, propelled entirely by the momentum it had on the ground. Buck released the petal as he watched himself rise above the bushes and the streetlights in awe.

Buck looked behind him, at Kasim, and at the city horizon. A tear fell from his eye. He looked up. Though the light pollution of the city was still apparent even here, being above the ground made the stars and the moon appear all the more majestic and larger than life.

“Do you want to go down now?” Kasim opened an eye and looked down. It would take a very long time to get used to heights as a new immortal, and the height they achieved sent a shiver down his spine.

“Give me a few more moments,” Buck did not look away from the night sky, entranced in its beauty.

“I don't know how long I can keep this up,” Kasim remarked.

“...Alright, let's land then,” he said.

The landing would have to be as gentle as possible to avoid a possible crash landing, and Kasim hadn't even managed to make himself land yet. And someone else's life was on the line, too. Kasim concentrated even harder on reversing the supernatural magic that lifted them into the sky slowly enough for them to land. It was a slow, controlled glide, and Kasim would have to keep it up even as they landed lest they crash and burn. They drifted to the ground like a graceful swan, the back tire of the motorcycle connecting with the ground first, followed by the front wheel.

“We've landed, Kasim.” Buck gently nudged him.

Kasim finally released his control over the bike's gravity with a heavy sigh. Buck slowed the bike to a graceful stop, pulling over on the side of the road. Kasim stumbled off, falling onto the ground with joy.

“I'm so not used to this flying thing,” Kasim laid face down on the ground. Within a minute, the rest of the gang rode up next to them.

“That was AMAZING!” Eric cheered.

“When I saw you so high in the air, I didn't know whether to be scared or jealous!” Albert ran up like an overly eager child, Joe not far behind him.

“What was it like? What was it like?” Allen pulled on Buck like a child.

“I haven’t been that high since college!” Buck grinned widely. “It was nothing short of awe inspiring to see the earth the way a bird would.”

“That's SO COOL!” they cheered, pulling Kasim up from the ground by his arms.

“Thanks, but I'm not doing that again anytime soon,” He stood himself up unsteadily.

“I DON'T CARE! THAT WAS THE COOLEST THING EVER!” Albert hugged him tightly enough to almost knock him off his feet again.

“That was way cool, but it's almost 4 AM, Kasim should get home before the sun rises,” Eric pointed to his watch.

“Aw man,” they groaned.

“He can ride with me this time,” Albert pointed to his bike.

“Just don't make me do that again,” Kasim wiped his brow.

“Nah, we'll just take you home. Where do you live?”

“Just a few blocks down from the bar, it's not too far,” Kasim climbed on the back of Albert's bike.

“You know, we don't have to take Kasim straight home, we can show him around a bit, y'know?” Eric boarded his bike. “Let's see the outskirts of the city a bit more before we have to say goodnight.”

“For him it's more like good morning,” Allen chuckled.

The boys took off in the opposite direction of the city. Kasim was finally starting to get used to this whole riding thing and took a peek at the road ahead. The city buildings became increasingly sparse as well as the foliage, revealing an endless desert. What city were they even in anyway? New York? Las Vegas? Somewhere in California? A strange liminal space that molds itself to whatever literary theme it might require?

With Kasim's superior night vision, he thought he saw silhouettes on the horizon, heading in their direction. As they closed in on them, Kasim made them out before anyone else did.

“Are those other bikers?” Kasim pointed ahead of them. The light of their front lights was barely registable by anybody but Kasim, but as they approached, it was clear he was right.

“Oh no, not them,” Eric yelled.

“What is he talking about?” Kasim asked Albert.

“It's this biker gang that just appeared less than a month ago, and they've been a pain in our side ever since!” Albert replied. “This is the third time this week. Don't think we're going to leave without a fight.”

“Oh no,” Kasim braced himself as the Blue Öyster Cult gang pulled over to meet the mysterious rivals.

“Hey, Blue Easter Club, what are you doing on OUR road?” A ragged and muscular man clad in all leather disembarked his bike and approached them. His long dark curls flapped in the desert winds. “Didn't we tell you to get lost?” he sneered.

“We were just taking our new friend out for a drive,” Buck muttered.

“No, fuck that! You can't own a road! You don't even pick up the trash!” Albert got off his bike and stood up to the man. He was completely dwarfed, but it didn't deter him one bit.

The man simply pushed him to the ground and laughed. Kasim watched his friend fall so easily to this man with his eyes wide. He didn't dare move a muscle.

“Hey! Fuck off! That's my brother!” Joe practically jumped off his bike and onto the man. Like a hulking monster, all he had to do was shake him off and he fell to the ground like a bag of bricks. The other men of his gang, watching from their bikes, started laughing wildly.

“Ha! You can't even begin to intimidate Big Kerry! Just give up already!” One of them called out. The rest cackled.

“I'll fuck you up!” Eric ran towards one of the men on the bikes and tried to throw him off. Buck and Allen bum rushed another man and landed a satisfying punch to his jaw. Albert and Joe got up quickly and used their brotherly TACTICAL MANEUVERS to confuse the big man, running circles around him. Kasim watched in horror.

“What are you, pussy?” One of the other men approached Kasim, still on Albert's bike. The asshole’s knuckles read JEFF. All four of them.

“What did you say to me?” Kasim whipped his head around.

“You heard what I said, motherfucker. Can't even fight? You're all show, no blow, buddy. You're a dead weight, and I'm gonna fuck you up.” He sneered.

“Fuck off, I have no intention of fighting anyone,” Kasim hissed back.

“Yeah, that's what pussies say. What are you gonna do, look pretty on that bike or come down and fight like a man?”

“I'd prefer to stay here and look pretty, thanks for the compliment.”

“You ain't even pretty, dumbass, it was rhetorical. In fact, you're the ugliest most ridiculously dressed asshole I've ever had the displeasure to see.”

“What?!” Kasim fumed.

“You hear me. What's with that makeup, are you some Dracula wannabe? And that leather jacket just SCREAMS poser. You've never ridden a motorcycle in your life, might as well give up now cause you'll never be cool like us,” Jeff smirked, sensing he hit a sore spot.

“Oh yeah, motherfucker? You wanna see what I can do?” Kasim dismounted the bike and growled.

“What are you gonna do, goth poser? Cry on me?”

He grabbed the man by the collar and snarled. “You have no fucking place to talk. You get your fucking kicks by bullying random ass people because your shitty little ego needs to beat on other people just to even feel a fraction of a bit like the love your shitty mother never gave you, you son of a bitch!”

“Them's fighting words, but are you all bark and no bite?” He laughed in Kasim's face. “You wouldn't want to get your designer jacket SCRATCHED in a real fight, would you, pretty boy?”

Kasim hissed, his anger subconsciously enhancing his monstrous features. His eyes turned a sickly yellow again, casting a unnatural glow on the poor man's face. His teeth sharpened into daggers and the wind once again started to pick up. His fingernails grew to grotesque lengths, threatening to poke an eye out.

“You wanna call me a pretty boy again? I get more tail than you'll ever get in your life! I am pretty AND I’m hotter than you!” Kasim spat in his face. The man's smirk slowly turned into a frown, and his face distorted into fear. The others fighting heard the commotion and turned to face Kasim and Jeff.

“I'm not a worthless pile of scum like you are, I don't need to shit on other people unless their egos are so distorted that they think they're better than anyone else! You know who's better than you? Me! I'm better, hotter, prettier, AND smarter than you! When was the last time YOU got laid?” Kasim's vampiric gaze pierced the man's ego like a sharpened rapier into a juicy watermelon.

Kasim released his collar and Jeff collapsed onto the ground. He crawled backwards in absolute fear, unable to get the words out. “M-m-m-monster! Y-you're a monster! A fucking monster!” He yelled. “Shit man, I’m way too coked out for this shit! I’m outta here,” He scrambled onto his bike and got out of there like a bat out of hell.

The others quickly got the hint and jumped on their bikes. “You know what, fuck you guys! You didn't have to sic your demon friend on us! We get the picture! Jesus Christ!” Kerry yelled before speeding off.

Eric was on the ground, nursing his broken sunglasses. “Holy shit, Kasim,” He looked up at Kas, who had calmed down enough to appear mostly normal again. “You saved our butts right there!”

“Heh, I guess they couldn't stand up to a little backtalk, could they?” Kasim rubbed the back of his head, feeling a little embarrassed.

“Dude, you're the coolest!” Joe gave him a big hug, and the others followed suit. They got a bit of blood on Kasim's clean shirt, adding to the faded stain from the week before.

Kasim said what the hell and gave them all big hugs. “Ha, thanks for the crazy night you guys, I'll never forget this for the rest of my probably immortal life,” he laughed.

“You're a member for life! And the unlife!” Albert smiled.

“But seriously, I think you should go home. I think I see the sun starting to rise, anyway,” Eric pointed to the horizon, of which the tiniest flecks of red began to appear.

“Shit, you're right. You guys know where I live, just a few blocks from the bar, right?” Kasim gestured the directions.

“Yeah, don't worry, I'll take you home, no problem,” Joe offered.

“Sure, please,” Kasim smiled weakly. “I'm exhausted anyway.”

“All aboard the Bouchard train!” Joe mocked pulling on a trains horn and went ‘choo choo’.

“Hey,” Albert said. Kasim ignored it and joined Joe on his bike.

“Shush, we have a tired vampire.” He shooshed his brother.

“Whatever, just don't try and fuck him, okay?” Albert smirked.

“Stop ruining my chances with everyone I meet, ALBERT.”

Kasim blushed and pretended not to hear that exchange.

\---

Joe's drive was gentle, making sure not to go down any old roads or cause any unnecessary jerking. Before they knew it, they were outside Kasim and Todd's apartment.

“Hey, thanks for the drive,” Kasim yawned, rubbing an eye, as he got off Joe's bike.

“No problem,” Joe replied, and looked away, then back at Kasim. “Hey.”

“What?” Kas looked back at him.

“Uh, sorry if its too forward but uh…” Joe blushed and ran his fingers through his hair. “Do you uh… uhm…”

“Oh, uh,” Kasim stammered. “Sorry I- uh- got a boyfriend,” he lied. Who was he talking about even?

“Oh, okay, sorry for bothering you then,” Joe blushed even harder. “You're always welcome back anytime, you know.”

“Thanks, I won't forget you guys. Maybe next week, same time?” Kas offered, eager to change the subject.

“Yeah, you're always welcome back, dude,” he pointed finger guns at Kasim.

“Cool, see ya next week then!” Kas waved goodbye and walked inside.

Once Joe saw Kasim go inside, he started to curse.

“Oh my god Joe that was the stupidest thing you could have done you don't even know the guy why are you trying to get him to suck you why am I so stupid oh my god Albert ruined my chances anyway goddammit” He shook his head and drove off, berating himself for the awkward exchange the entire time.

\---

Kasim opened the door as silently as he could as to not wake Todd, hopefully he wasn't still up at almost 6 AM… and he wasn't, thank god. He did his bedtime duties in the bathroom and retired to his room.

The early morning birds were already beginning to sing up a storm. God, is this what he'll have to deal with now? Birds singing as he tries to sleep? Kasim slammed the blinds shut and threw a pillow on top of his head to block out the tweets, falling asleep once more.


End file.
